From the window of the Laundry Mat the mob of parishioners dressed in black looked like a single entity. They rose and fell and washed up and down the steps of the church like a agitated ocean of black umbrellas and suit coats. Through the rain that ran in intricate parodies of stained glass down the front windows of the MAT, I caught a glimpse of the wooden box walking on a dozen black trousered legs. Behind it on the stairs alone and apart from the waves of umbrellas and cowls stood what could only be her father. The ran fell from the low hanging clouds that clung to the tips of the buildings, obscuring the top floors of Jupiter apartments, and turned the shoulders of his suit and darker black, a wet black, like blood.
I had spilled that mans blood along with his daughters, I had likely ended his life as well.
What would I be without my Kara?
I would die.
From within the laundry mat, over the sound of the rain and the running machines, I could hear the finality of the hearses door slam.
I wanted only to hold her, to run back up the stairs of Jupiter God-Damn apartments and pick her up and take her out of here.
As the hearse passed it splashed water from the gutter up onto the window and for a moment all that was visible was my reflection in the glass. My once energetic eyes were sunken, my skin pale from this dismal winter and two days of stubble grew on my cheeks. I was beginning to look like them. Those poor people I used to sell to.
And then the water slid muddy down the glass and the cold truth of the funeral procession crept back into the world.
Who would the next hearse carry? Would it be me?
Would it be Kara?
This city had done awful things to me, it had twisted me, perverted me into something other than what I used to be. Would it take Kara just for spite?
In the window of of the last black car a small cherub-like face was pressed against the window. Its face calm and oblivious to the significance of this Sunday gathering in the rain and its eyes were the color of the sky over the interstate.
I left my hood down as I stepped out into the rain, I needed the water to disguise my tears.